[ic] blocking customers

Dan Browning interchange-users@icdevgroup.org
Thu Jul 18 12:39:00 2002


At 11:22 AM 7/18/2002 -0500, you wrote:
>On Thu, Jul 18, 2002 at 03:35:59PM +0100, Kevin Walsh wrote:
> > > I have a client who has asked for something that I haven't seen
> > > discussed here and did not find via searches on the web site or
> > > mailing list.
> > >
> > > He has some customers that he would to prevent from being able to
> > > order due to having to constantly go after them to get them to pay.
> > >
> > > Has anyone come up with a simple (!!!) way to do this.
> > >
> > > Note: He does not use any of the standard interfaces that comes
> > > with Interchange.  The site is very simple and is exactly what
> > > he wants.  (www.captemo.com, if interested).
> > >
> > The simplest way is to just not process orders from those customers;
> > just mark them as 'cancelled', 'denied' or whatever when they come in.
> >
> > If they actually provide a credit card and pay then the goods can be
> > sent.  If they don't, and they are on your blacklist then just cancel
> > the order.
> >
> > It doesn't get any simpler than that. :-)
>
>Yes, I agree, that is quite simple.  However, how do you recognize
>them as the bad guy?
>
>Address?  "1234 Main Street" "1234 Main St." and "1234 Main St" are
>all valid but are also all different to a computer!
>
>email?  How many email addresses do you have?  I have about 10 that
>I check daily.  And that doesn't count hotmail, etc....
>
>A lot of customers that use this site do not have credit cards as
>they are "kids", so we had to allow for "money orders".  This is
>where the trouble starts.  We usually give the person two weeks to
>send in the money.  Then a couple of nagmails.  Then the item is
>returned to available status.  This is a month or so of time that
>the item can not be sold to someone that will actually pay for it!

Oh, is that all the problem is?  Let me guess, you didn't pass your 
transcendental metaphysics class, did you?  Obviously, the correct solution 
is to have the computer use your 40Ghz-frequency brain waves to directly 
access the seller's brain at the time of checkout.  If their brain 
signifies that they are going to actually pay for the product, put [set 
he_isnt_just_jerking_with_us]1[/set] and process the order.  If it 
signifies that they don't really intend to pay, then use your powers to 
fuse all their motor function neurons to their subconscious, so they'll 
sleepwalk for the rest of their life; and, cancel the order.

+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
| Dan Browning, Kavod Technologies <db@kavod.com>
+~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If I don't see you in the future, I'll see you in the pasture.

PS. If the transcendental metaphysics doesn't work out, try what Mike 
suggested.  ;-)