[ic] what is help // what is not help

[Dan Browning]

* rick kershner <rickkershner@mail.com> [2003-05-18 07:43]:
> OK so I have many years of experience doing help and less implemnnting
> Interchange; why do people prefer my help more?
> 
> I help them.
> 
> I have seen too many people flippantly answer questions with non-answer
> answers. Did ALL you people work for Microsoft before this?
> 
> What is not help:
> 
> "look in the archives"
> "read README.TXT"

Dude, you are SOOO RIGHT!!!  But you barely even scratched the surface!
I mean, lets quit playing around, the REAL problem with all the people
on this list is:  they don't do what I want them to!  Like you, I sent
many long, detailed e-mails about how they are FAILING to live up to MY
expectations!  And do you believe what they did next?  They IGNORED me!

That wasn't very helpful.  I was new to the list, and even though they
didn't ask for my advice, I'm sure they were just waiting for someone to
come along and tell them what a horrible job they were doing.  Sure,
they may be donating their time to help other people for free, but they
need to spend MORE time, and do it the way *I* tell them to!  There are
probably others that don't even read the list on the weekends, so I hope
they feel guilty enough from my flaming e-mails that they have to wait 
by their e-mailer day and night to see if I've asked a question.

The weird part is that now, when I ask a question, all I get is silence.
Someone said something about "/dev/null" and some kind of filter. What 
is that, anyway?  Even weirder, I see other people asking questions
that get answered all the time!  [My theory is that they are
discrimating against the intelligent ones such as myself].

The ones that get answered all seem to have some things in common:  

 * they are well well-written (who has time to do that!?)
 * original questions (who has time to check the archives?)
 * they even mentioned all the research they did (what a waste of time!)
 * had well-thought-out diagnosis and ideas.  
 * In fact, some were even TWO paragraphs long!  

Can you imagine the amount of hours that went into that kind of effort?
What a waste!  I can pound out an e-mail for each question that pops in
my mind in less than 30 seconds!  Here's an example:

HELP!!!!!!!!!  wut did i eet 4 brekfst???????????????????????????????

I don't have time to remember the e-mail address of the list either, so
I just reply to the list digest and re-send all the e-mails from the
entire week.  They probably didn't answer any e-mails from the entire
week anyway, so they deserve to read them again.

Anyway, I hope to get them signed up on some new products I heard about
through e-mail.  It will enhance your mood, takes inches off your
waist WHILE YOU SLEEP, and get you a university degree!  If that doesn't
work, I'll ask you for some tips, since you seem to be having some
success with getting them to do what you want.

-Dan

[Humor impaired need not reply.]

[This message has been brought to you by the letters S, A, R, C, A, S, T,
I, and C.]

[Rick is a really nice guy, I'm sure; this isn't for him, personally.  I
guess I'm just blowing off sarcastic steam].